Comments : Changes

  • 17 years ago

    by Lady Vengeance

    Very very very well written. Kudos to you *claps*. i loved it, honestly : )

  • 17 years ago

    by Jasmine

    Wow
    i really liked this poem
    reminds me of someone..i used to be with.
    totally well thought out and written.
    exoh
    j.d

  • 17 years ago

    by Melissa S. Masucci

    Second and fourth stanzas, first word should be "Your" and not "You're".

    The third stanza doesn't rhyme or almost-rhyme like the others do.

    This poem is very true, as in it portrays a very true emotion/experience in a very true way. It's believable, anyone that's been in that position can agree with it. Great job.

  • 17 years ago

    by Tainted Beauty

    Wow, i really liked this poem, it was kinda dark but very well written. Great work.

    --Steph

  • 17 years ago

    by Arcane Blondie

    I love in this poem how each stanza starts with ''your...'' and then there's something about the person. Its very unique! The only errors are that some of the first lines of the stanzas have ''you're'' not ''your''. All and all amazing poem! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    This was a pretty good poem, but I thought the adjectives you used were weak.

    "And so mean it's almost scary"
    [mean? I think you could find a better word]

    "You're voice which used to calm me
    Now brings fear upon my heart
    It sounds so cold and harsh"
    ['calm', 'cold', 'harsh' all of these words are so basic. You need to broaden your vocabulary.]

    I was getting sick of the basic words. I mean, I use them too, but I am trying to learn new things. I think you should too. You have a lot of potential, and I would like to see what you can do with it. Keep on writing, you will get a lot better if you try.

  • 17 years ago

    by Dianna M Tuohy

    Very well done. I really liked it. There seems to be more that can be said at the end, though, it's only a suggestion. Keep writing