First line of the poem, the word "vain" should be "vein".

Other than that, it's awesome. You use some very powerful word choices and it flows amazingly well. Great job.

Awww that last stanza made me cry :-*(....Well honestly it was kind of like the same kind of suicide poem....she kills herself and the parents find a note...but I have to say I enjoyed your rhymes and you didn't continue to use the same words over and over! 5/5!

This is deep, extremely deep. the stanzas are set out very well and the tone/atmosphere is full of suspense and darkness. the rythym & flow are great, fits well with this type of poem.
excellent job
Sarah -xo

This is deep, extremely deep. the stanzas are set out very well and the tone/atmosphere is full of suspense and darkness. the rythym & flow are great, fits well with this type of poem.
excellent job
Sarah -xo