Comments : Heartbreak

  • 13 years ago

    by ŘÅÇĦ♥

    Whoa that was awesome

    "I listened to all you false hope.
    I believed in you soothing words.
    I smiled my fake smile,
    And pretended to be all right."

    I love that part. A thing many of us do fake smile. Pretend everything is fine. I think you did a super! Job 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Natalie

    Aw wow Angie. This was sad. But I really liked it!!

    At the start you say "I listened to all you false hope" ..I think you meant "all your false hope" ..You did it in a couple of areas of your poem.

    You cut through my built up walls,
    [I really liked that line, I thought it was worded really well.]

    The poem itself though was good. Keep it up!! 5/5

    `Taleee. xx.

  • 13 years ago

    by uponfairywings

    Very powerful and deep. I thought it was wonderful!

    xoxoxo Haley

  • 13 years ago

    by uponfairywings

    Very powerful and deep. I thought it was wonderful!

    xoxoxo Haley

  • 13 years ago

    by ShhhhItsASecret©

    I found some minor errors in this poem. No big deal, just thought I'd point them out. :)

    "I listened to all your false hope."

    - I suggest either false hopes* or take out the all to make it sound better.

    "So stop you lies,"

    - Your*

    Now, besides that, the poem was original and very good. It was extremely sad, and well-written. My favorite stanza was the first one:

    "Silent tears flow down my cheeks,
    Leaving stains as I do weep.
    "It'll be alright," you said.
    "Just give me another chance," you pleaded."

    Keep writing. You have a lot of potential. :) Overall rating: 4.75/5, but I'm going to rate it a 5, because it's more fair than rating it a 4, considering, 4.75 is closer to 5 anyway.

    ~BJ~

  • 13 years ago

    by never_quite_me

    Good work, sad to read but still a good poem. keep writing :0)

  • 13 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Great job! You can still add more imagery and flow to it

  • 13 years ago

    by Chelsea Loves Him

    It's an amazing poem. I can totally relate to it. Great job!

    xoxo,
    Chelsea* ♥

  • "I listened to all your false hopes.
    I believed in your soothing words.
    I smiled my fake smile,
    And pretended to be all right"
    That Stanza Sounds Like The Story Of My Life *Hugs* This Was Really Good Angie...Can't Believe I've Never Had The Honor Of Reading Your Work Before 5/5 All The Way xoxo-Nikki-xoox

  • 13 years ago

    by 111308

    Awww! This Was Amazing! Emotional...Flow Amazing! I Loved It...
    "I listened to all you false hope.
    I believed in you soothing words.
    I smiled my fake smile,
    And pretended to be all right."
    Those Are My Favorite Lines...There So True For Tons Of People! 5/5 Brilliant :D
    ♥
    Steph

  • 13 years ago

    by 111308

    Awww! This Was Amazing! Emotional...Flow Amazing! I Loved It...
    "I listened to all you false hope.
    I believed in you soothing words.
    I smiled my fake smile,
    And pretended to be all right."
    Those Are My Favorite Lines...There So True For Tons Of People! 5/5 Brilliant :D
    ♥
    Steph

  • 13 years ago

    by Arcane Blondie

    Wow-there is so much emotion in this! You portrayed it so well and I love how the poem it free verse. It really fits what you are writing---The depth in this piece is amazing and shows that you have a lot of talent so keep it up and Stay Strong----5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Sparklylipgloss

    The line that says "save your lies, and let me go.." i think, thats it, is amazing. you have no idea. it shows, that you are letting go, but it doesnt make to sucidial, or anything. props.

  • 13 years ago

    by Jordan Smith

    Wow, this is sad, I wrote one similar, please read, it's called in another's eyes.

  • 13 years ago

    by Zooshy

    Hey!! really nice poem .. it's so beautiful.. keep it up girl.. take care.. peace :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Amber

    Amazing poem its so beautiful ..check out some of mine some time

  • 13 years ago

    by i love you

    I really like this poem.. it reaminds me of my past relationships..except the other way around..

    if u wanna u can check out my poem "he will pay" i think it is the same concept.. i dont remember that poem very well..

    ~scott

  • 13 years ago

    by Samantha Hollywood

    Angie --
    First of all, I just have to say that you are REALLY pretty! I saw your pic in your profile, and you`re just really pretty. Had to say that. =D
    Your poem was really good - I had to give it a 4/5 because of the rhyming. You didn`t keep one pattern throughout the poem, and so I couldn`t tell when, or if, the rhymes were coming. It made it a bit confusing and hard to focus on the poem itself. But overall, it was a really good poem. Looking forward to reading your other one!

    Love Much,
    Samantha Hollywood

  • 13 years ago

    by X2892

    All I can say is that this poem is excellent, i give it a 5/5 keep it up^.^

  • 13 years ago

    by .x.HauNt.x.Me.x.

    Wow this is really really good!
    its so sad yet beautiful and heartfelt
    keep up the good work
    love it :)
    5/5