Comments : These Scars You've Caused Me

  • 17 years ago

    by goddess-glamourpuss

    Know where you are coming from hon.

    Since my heart people cannot see,
    I pierce a part of my skin on me.
    These are the scars you've caused me.
    The will be my lifetime fee.

    These lines in particular really 'spoke' to me.
    It is often difficult for people to understand self-harm but I think you expressed yourself well.
    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by AnnMarie

    This poem was totally awesome! It was soo good1 There was so much emotion and the flow was wonderful, all in all it was great no fixes needed here!

    -Please r/r/c on any four of my poems!

    -AnnMarie

  • 17 years ago

    by 111308

    OH Wow! This Was Really Good!! And I Mean Really REally Good! It Was Brilliant! Astounding! Extroadinary! Excellent...Oh Wow So Many Words...I Relate To This Poem So Much! So I Know Exactly How You Feel! Every Word I Could Feel The Pain.....The Emotion Was Deff There And The Flow Was Great! 5/5 You Won Me On This One! Your A Fantastic Writer!
    Love,
    Steph

  • 17 years ago

    by Amanda

    A sad but hearfelt poem. I really enjoyed this one too. The emotion was great and I can totally understand how you feel. Keep up the great work hun :)

  • 17 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Pretty good. You can still work on the flow. The rhymes kinda sound forced.

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    This brought back memorie of when I used to self harm. Very sad poem. Hope you don't self harm though, I be here if you need someone to talk to. =)

    The poem was good though, the flow was alright, it seemed a tad rocky in some areas, but that's not big deal. You rhymes were good too. An enjoyable read. Keep it up! 5/5

    Natalie``

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Not too bad... But it's very cliche... Like all the other cutting poems. The rhyming was also a bit cliche... Over all it wasn't a bad read.

    xDarkSuicidex 4.5

  • 17 years ago

    by loretta Taylor

    Sammy you have some good content, but I think you are trying to cram it all in. It seemed wordy and forced at times. I do likee your writing though. Wish I had that kind of talent at 14. Loretta

  • 17 years ago

    by LockedInEternity

    Good poem!!...i liked the 2nd stanza
    "Weeping in self pity, I did not.
    Over what I did, my friends and I fought.
    These scars you have given me,
    Emotional or not...there they will always be."
    it was the one that popped out at me the most:=)..this poem was good..i liked how you said that everytime you cut you break a peice of you off...it was good i loved it!!5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Tormented

    WOW!!!
    AMAZING POEM!!!

    Since my heart people cannot see,
    I pierce a part of my skin on me.
    These are the scars you've caused me.
    They will be my lifetime fee.
    {I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THOSE LINES!!!}

    Very well written nice rhyming and the flow was perfect!!!
    5/5

    TORM

  • 17 years ago

    by Tormented

    WOW!!!
    AMAZING POEM!!!

    Since my heart people cannot see,
    I pierce a part of my skin on me.
    These are the scars you've caused me.
    They will be my lifetime fee.
    {I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THOSE LINES!!!}

    Very well written nice rhyming and the flow was perfect!!!
    5/5

    TORM

  • 17 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Pretty good. You can still work on your flow.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awwww.. you poor thing.. this was so sad.. i liked the last stanza best.. the idea of your scars from your heart showing on your skin was a new one for me.. it flowed pretty well although some of the rhymes were a little awkward, other than that.. wonderful work! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    I like this poem. I can relate really well. My boyfriend and I are in a fight over cutting and what not. I liked the flow of your poem. It was really sad but it's a true thing that happens. Great Job Hun.

  • 17 years ago

    by Normal is the Watchword

    THis poem was alright in capturing what I hope is not a true story, and sadness that comes with the pain people can not see but that some people wish they could. I do wish you could have described what somebody had actually done or the way you emotionally felt.

  • 17 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Because the poem was about self-harm and the reasons why, I really got into it, and read it twice.
    Self-harm is hard for people to understand but i understand it fully, because of my past problems.
    But you have to be strong, and keep your head high, no matter how hard it may seem.
    the poem was emotional, i lked it, it flowed well and was a good read.
    xxxxxx

  • 17 years ago

    by X2892

    Excellent 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Andi

    This is wonderfully written! u captured the depressed emotions of cutting well...its really sad and i can really relate to it....u had a great rhyme scheme and it flowed well....keep up the good work....if u could comment on my poems i'd appreciate it!
    andi

  • 17 years ago

    by NoPatience

    Rhymes Sounded A Bit Forced And The Flow Could Use Some Work. But Overall It Was A Good Poem That Really Spoke To Me. 5/5

    *~*Paulette*~*

  • 17 years ago

    by Letty

    This poem is very sad. I can really feel your pain through each word. But again here the rhyming seems forced. You have such a wonderful talent for writing that you don't have to force the rhymes hun. Let the words flow, and you will see the amazing change in your work. Besides the rhyming, I thought that everything else was very good. I usally don't read cutting poems because I can't really get into them. But this one held so much emotion that I was able to read right through it. 5/5 I only suggest that you work on the rhyming a bit. Other then that I say keep up the excellent writing and I'll be looking forward to reading more of your work.

    Best Wishes
    Letty