I told you i was happy for you and her and said i know you will be a good husband but what you don't know is that i was crying while i forced myself to write that.
i force myself to be happy for you and her and tell you i wish you the best to make you happy and not let you see me hurt even though its killing me inside not be with you and knowing she has what i want and i cant do a thing about it.
i force myself to smile everyday and have a good time but no one knows thats I'm dying inside. its like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs for help but no one is able to hear the sound of my cry cause its hidden under this fake ass smile.
i force myself to tell you that I'm fine and I'm OK with it all but my heart is aching and tears are streaming down my face as i send you this message just so it doesn't all have to end so heartbreaking.
i force myself to say yeah we can just be friends even though i want to be so much more than just FRIENDS.
i force myself to say I'm walking out the door to leave but i still force myself to hope that maybe you will stop me before i turn the handle and not let me go.
