Wow such a powerful and upsetting poem, you wrote it well.. just some helpfull feedback;
in the 6th line you wrote 'hear'..its supposed to be 'here'
and in the 8th line you wrote; 'were'.. it is supposed to be 'where'..change that and the poem is perfect :) keep writting please read and comment on my poems.. rhank you... kirsty palmer xx