Seems more like a list than a poem, i suggest putting in

A) more words,
B) more rhymes, perhaps an Ottava Rime, abababcc

This poem is nice, really descriptive =)

Lindsay

Awww I loved this one too, it was sooo beautiful. It was short and didn't have and particular pattern that I could see but I liked it...I thought you did a great job with it. It was very sweet.
5.5
Breanna

It was wonderful, Zack be quite...

I loved it, your poetry brings a smile ot my face x

Omigosh that is sooo sweet! keep it up!

Its not wonderful its not bad, try to make everything rhyme more and try to make i more than just a list