Once upon a time, something used to complete me:
the sound of someone's voice before i fell asleep.
until oh so very suddenly ...
you found someone to love ... who wasn't me.
who's going to talk me down to sleep at night?
your voice was the perfect lullaby.
& i just know it'll be someone else you'll sing to now.
the memory of your voice has been drowned out
by my whispered prayers & silenced ways,
but even that's not enough to erase what you used to say
weeks go by
&i haven't heard from you, don't say it's over, it can't be true.
for you, i'd do anything
so please demand that i stop loving you.
with nothing else to do i miss you & cry.
& it seems i can no longer sleep a wink at night.
because i don't hear your voice... the perfect lullaby.
all what's left is a song with a sad ending to tell.
i abandoned the love we both knew so well
can i go back, find some kind of way to rewind
to the day we met & put that song on repeat all the time?
i want to tell you, but i can't ... & now i've come to find
that i'm shy to admit: i can't sleep w/o my perfect lullaby
your lips are the entire chorus, & your love is every verse.
so please, baby, please, don't let your chorus touch hers.
you took my heart in your hands, & kissed away the pain
& i felt counting my tears equal to standing in the rain
oh no, i just don't want to keep it ...
i don't want to keep the lyrics unsaid.
but i can no longer stand ...
the melody replaying inside my head.
saying "la la la ... you fool; what a fool you were."
humming "la la la ... you're alone & he's with her."
singing "la la la ... cry yourself to sleep again."
whispering "oh my ... another night to replay it in your head."
singing silence... the unbearable, lonely silence... inside my mind.
i don't remember asking for these memories that sing so unkind.
the new melody breaks my heart ... & you know what ?
i don't think i like this new, lonely lullaby very much
i much prefer your voice: my lost perfect lullaby
rather than the new lonely one: the sound of tears on my pillow as i cry.
& i can no longer sleep... my eyes just won't close.
i've got my heart still set on you, & you don't even know.
i've been awake too long
i've tired of this new song
i swear it's all wrong
i've been without you too long ...
it's all wrong.
... so wrong.
yes, i was wrong to leave,
& somehow now getting to sleep
has become a useless battle & a losing a fight.
but i just know you're sleeping easily at night.
i was the one to leave, & you went along with it all the while.
i wish you knew ... that i left because it makes you smile.
but you're better off ... no longer my perfect lullaby.
i know you're singing someone else to sleep tonight
i'm lonely.
you're not.
i'm w/ someone new.
but i never forgot.
she's not me.
& in my mind...
the way you kissed me is the way you now kiss her.
she's not me.
& i realize...
that is probably why you're with her.
i lay awake alone, & the thoughts sing the silence inside my mind.
i don't remember asking for these memories that sing so unkind.
the new melody breaks my heart ... & you know what ?
i don't think i like this new lullaby very much
you don't even know. & you don't even see.
you've long since let go. & you don't even miss me
again & again you slip into my dreams
on the few nights i manage to get to sleep.
once upon a time, something used to complete me:
the sound of someone's voice before i fell asleep.
until oh so very suddenly ...
the love of my life, my lost lullaby,
stopped singing to me.
i'm so painfully tired, & it hurts ...
i miss your lyrics & your words.
i've been dreaming of you again
yes, your face fills my heart & head
it always seems to be the same dream
everytime i DO get to sleep,
i dream of past things that you've said.
i swear you said it ... i just forget when.
& when the words "i miss you" fill my lungs
i'll be sure to bite down hard on my tongue
and swallow those words straight back down my throat
because on them i would prefer to choke
rather than have you hear them, and so ...
i'll die in my sleep before you ever know.
& tonight i will lie awake ...
have every smile faked.
cry for fun & smile for your sake...
smile as i talk about my new life
pretend to move on without you just fine
& make sure you don't pick up on my sarcasm any of the times
all so you don't ever get the chance to realize & see ...
that i need you to breathe like i need your lullaby to sleep ...
