I really liked this. just one thing the last sentence doesn't really rhyme that much to me. the rest of flowed really well. and you wrote it beautifully. Maybe you could just like change a word or two, might make more sense. but either way i lvoed it, it was great!
Normally I'd like poems to be a bit longer, but I liked this one Jess because you used the right choice of words to make it seem like we were reading a poem with about 5 stanzas, but there were only 2...thats awesome I love it!
Very nicely written.. Very dark and sinister; just the way I Love it. You seem to have gotten downrated on this poem -- it's not a 4.5. Just remember you did very well on this poem. The lowest it should have ever gotten was a 4.9. But good job.
You use the word angrily but then describe them as happy. Such a big contrast with nothing between the too. You may also want to limit words ending in -ly, for some reason they just throw some poems off. The rest of the poem was good though for some of your descriptions.