In the night, Under the stars, I fell to the ground and curled into a ball; I was consumed by a pain that had been slowly eating away and finally it had won, my mind came undone. I was ready to die, but death would not be so kind. It didn't care, it left me there; So I hoped I'd cry, but my tears have long been dry; So I tried to pray, to a god I knew wasn't there, or if he was, I knew he wouldn't care. My prayer was not answered, so I screamed it out loud and still, I found, Only me, Alone on the ground. I stood but only to strip off my clothes, hoping to find some peace in the cold. Hoping to find death but it seemed to be ignoring me. but then the moon caught my eye, its light and power reached within me, it gave me a gift. It gave me my long wished for death. There I fell to the farthest depths, and was exposed as a, naked, liar, cheat, thief, addict, Whor', all the things I swore I wasn't, became so clear, like never before, I finally saw me. This truth didn't mean a thing, there was no good and there was no bad; there was only me and I was nothing. All the guilt, hate and pain, I had placed upon me. I had taken others beliefs, and placed them on me. All their lies Shi' and ridiculous Fuc' beliefs; but none of them mean anything, none of them are anything. Its just me and that knowledge set me free, allowed me to see, that the pain was theirs, and they gave it to me, and for someone so empty, I need to stop feeling empathy. On that day my death was great, I swore against my human form and became an animal forever more. All those things, those silly silly, human beliefs are reflections of their emptiness, insight into their hallow lives; Watch their eyes as they spill out shi' and lies. They're meaningless animals, that think they're human beings, So they'll spill out shi', to make you believe, that you're nothing, So they can feel like something. They are the ones who are nothing, their words are meaningless just like their lives. They're only happy when others believe their lies. So hear their shi' but didn't believe it, and when they walk by feel free to spit, and when they die on their body's I will pis'. From me to them, I hope they die, and theres no god so no ones on their side. And I know at night they cry, from the emptiness inside.
My beautiful friend Adam wrote this for me when I was having problems with stupid people at job corps. I miss him muches!
