Comments : Daddy Come Home

  • 19 years ago

    by Feline Fatigue

    I like this poem a lot! There's just one thing I would comment on.
    for I can't live without you because
    This line is a little too long since the rest of the lines are shorter. Maybe if you change 'because' to 'cause' or just re-write the line. Nice write otherwise, I loved it!