Comments : Suicidal Little Mistake

  • I agree with ~TheRavensGhost~ I think this was a great write but "fitted isn't a word! so like she said you could say "who never fit in" or something along those lines! Yeah but i would definetly change either the 2nd or 4th line! The flow was good! This was probably your best poem i have read so 5/5!! Well Done!

  • 13 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    This was so goooood. I have the urge to read it again, Love. I was like so intuned with the feelings and just felt the horror and sadness of it.

  • 13 years ago

    by Spitfire

    Omg
    i love it !!!
    its really good
    a little more details would make it better
    just a little advice....just to help a sister out!!!
    definitly
    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by twisted reality

    [She was a lost soul
    Who never fitted in
    No friend to call her own
    She just wanted to fit in]

    ^^You rhymed 'in' with 'in'...That's not really rhyming lol.

    [But even the person people think are strongest]
    Suggestion: The person people think is the strongest

    ^^Just a suggestion. Take it or leave it. I just thought the line was too long for the rest of the lines.

    Over all, I think it was ok done. It wasn't the best poem. I thought the rhyming was very cliche, and you could've used harder rhymes. The flow wasn't that great in places, but that can be fixed. I did like the story of the poem a lot. I thought it resembled me a lot. =( Yes, quite sad I know lol. Well keep it up! =) 4/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 13 years ago

    by Jelz;; Oh,KillMeFast

    Your awesome ... i added you as a fav so i can keep coming back and reading =}

  • 13 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    Thats another nice poem!
    it was soo sad! made me wanna cry...
    keep it up!

  • 13 years ago

    by Abbey aka the goth girl

    That was a great poem!!
    -Abbey

  • 13 years ago

    by Moon Princess

    +.+ :). I liked it. And I'll add you as my favourites, cuz your name just seems to be popping up everywhere. Lol. Nice poem. 5/5 +.+

  • 12 years ago

    by Tiffany

    I love your wording of this poem. your rhythm is very precise and well done!

  • 12 years ago

    by xxSuicidalxx

    OMG! I love this poem! It is so sad, but you capture everything so well....keep it up!

  • 12 years ago

    by Jo Anna EL

    I really enjoyed reading this poem.You can see everything happening so clearly.the girl just running her expression of happinesss always being fake.until finally h er story of life comes to an end and she dies cutting her wrist.
    ~Jo Anna EL