Comments : Im still here

  • 17 years ago

    by stephyG

    Beautiful poem...........

  • 7 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Below is the poem with suggested corrections:

    I'm still here
    in this place
    living out life
    thinking, "Oh, what a waste."

    Every time I want to go
    someone stops me,
    tells me that they care
    asking why I can't see.

    ^^^ this verse needs to be reconstructed, as it is unintelligible and makes little sense.

    I'm tired and scared,
    ready for rest.
    I need to sleep;
    it's all for the best

    I'm never alone,
    always someone watching
    --waiting for the time
    to save my life.

    I'm sick of school, of work, of play...
    I need to have a small break.
    They wont let me in case
    I never come back from it.

    Oh well. I'll keep on living,
    keep on running, keep on feeling...
    Tired will always be here
    as I am forced to live my life.

    One of your darker writes, but always true. Sometimes we feel as if we just need a break from life... a pause button, where we can linger and stretch and recuperate from the stresses of life while the rest of the world is frozen in place. Some people feel the only place they can recuperate is in death, but in truth that is why I like to travel so much. I get stir crazy staying in one place for too long a time, and it's something I trained myself to feel. I usually tell people that I get depressed from staying too long in one place, but the reality is that I get depressed and the best thing for me is a new place, new distractions... so that's how I keep myself rejuvenated and traveling is like my little rest from all life's stresses, or the "Tired" as you speak of it in your piece.

    Also, the title should be "I'm Still Here".

    Comment 2 out of 12.

    Great job,
    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 7 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you. Probably didnt make sense the begining but ill pm you what i meant :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Lucifer

    See, Nams, no one is going to live for ever. Even those who are happy they gonna die one day too.
    Life is too short, cherish every moment of your life.
    Don't waste it in overthinking.

    With love