Very Good! Nice story :) kept me hooked the whole Time! Great Rhyming!! my favorite part:
Something rushed over him.
A shiver down his ragged spine,
He could not breath,
The love and hate line.
Great Job!
5/5

Aww. Very pretty.
Keep up the good work... or something.. haha..
5/5

O.o Thanks.

I'm confused. did you mean confused rhyming on mine- or yours? or... did you mean something else all together? Hahaha... Well if you meant on my poem... I probably meant to do that.