I really liked it. I'm not sure really what it was about it that was awesome, but i guess the emotion behind it was amazing. keep writing please! i'd love to read more!

I really liked it. I'm not sure really what it was about it that was awesome, but i guess the emotion behind it was amazing. keep writing please! i'd love to read more!

Awsome Poem and I love this is one of the best i have read.,

Hey, I have an idea for your ending

Now looking up at the figure
Hanging alone in the dark
Looking… watching… waiting…
For her soul to disembark

Now it sits in a cardboard box
Waiting for someone to pick it
A little girl comes over and picks it up
It gives a smile to its next victim

Ooooo I like this poem, great job hun =] 5/5

Very interesting,mysterious write you have here tammie..a worthwhile read.
Youre getting better and better.

hmm..for the Title I think it is better that you make title yourself...I know you can think of a better one..

God Bless!

That's a nice poem. The ending is punchy! I will speak about the ending in a couple of minutes. The title is good and relative especially to the last line.

There are somesuggestions,

The second stanza is quite vague and general, it does not refer to the doll or to the girl directly whereas all your other stanzas do.

In the third stanza "It's witness to her dreams and wishes" sounds odd; may be because of grammer.Perhaps it should be "It's a witness to her dreams and wishes".

You must use punctuations thorugh out your poems, they could have put a lot more meaning into your lines.

The last line gives a puchy ending and a nice concept to the poem but it could have been phrased better to match the flow and pronounciation of the poem."It smiles at it's next victim" would sound better.

Your style reminds me somewhat of mine but you have a extra twist. I really love reading your poetry. 5/5

Love
Letty

I think this is such a wonderful poem, once again you have showed your great talent.5/5

Frightening poem I guess...it could be a horror's soundtrack...psycological violence...a porcelain doll who kills its owners...this sounds really freacky!!!By the way,I really like your style

Wow...dis is good...i really like it and the last two are good...umm title i have no clue...but this is good...5/5

Love the Title... I don't think you need to change it o.0 but if you really don't like it.. i'd go for Porcelain Doll .. my favorite stanza is:
One minute she's laughing
The next she's in tears
It's a witness to her dreams and wishes
Also to her regrets and fears
Great Job!
5/5

If u were to change the title id change it too " porcealin doll death" or something to that extent. i loved the poem it was amazing and the plot was so creative. great job..my fave stanza was the last one. thx for ur comment,
love ya lots,
sore

Wow, this was really, really good. Great imagery and the last coupld of stanzas where hardhitting. A definite 5/5

I really liked this poem, the imagery was excellent, and the poem itself sad.. I think the title was perfect.. If I was to change anything though [hope you don't mind me saying] but the middle 2 lines of the last stanza kinds of sounds a little off to me because of the 'pick it' [2nd]and 'pick it up'[3rd]..
My suggestion...
Now it sits in a cardboard box
waiting for someone to pick it up

*doh clicked on the comment box instead of the MSN window flashing below me lol.. will start again.. well not right from the beginning

Now it sits in a cardboard box,
waiting for someone to pick it up.
A little girl reaches

3rd time lucky.. bet ya wish I hadn't added you to my faves now pmsl.. blame Billie for messaging me and lack of sleep lol

Now it sits in a cardboard box,
waiting for someone to pick it up.
A little girl reaches out,
it smiles at it's next victim.

I know it doesn't rhyme as well.. and it took all that effort to put my suggestion across, but at the worst I must have made ya smile with my stoopidness lol xx

That was a very emotional poem! Believe me when I say I have tears in my eyes, and it's quite nearly impossible for that to happen to me! You see me writing the saddest poems, and the most depressing, but I'm such a happy person, I rarely cry! Actually, I didn't even cry at a funeral I recently attended... Basically, it takes real talent for anyone to touch me like that.

The porcelain doll
Knew she would break
Watching and waiting
For the toll to take

That's my favourite part of this poem. I loved it. It makes me think of so many situations I have had to face.... When I was 9 my friend commited suicide. Anyhow, I don't think you should change the title. It was that, after all, that drew me to read this work of magic!

Congrats! 5/5!
[*:.heart.broken.:~] xoxo

Geee! this poem was well written. if thats correct english. lol. it was so beautifully put together. the whole poem was perfect! bravo!

5/5 David