This is a very intense poem iI am sure it would inspire courage and confidence in a soldier

Good job; ). It could have been much better if you had spent more time I guess.

Your concept is good , but again I see that your words are vell not so smooth. The flow is okay, it is neither good nor bad. I think you had to pay more attention to the center of the poem.Somewhere in the below four lines your flow got a punch in the stomach.

We must keep ourselves together
And react immeaditly when we have been attacked
We shall not fall
And cry of our wounds

Also be careful of spelling and grammer before you post,

The Garden like a Edlerly ?? I think it is Elderly and even then what has garden got to do with battle?

Do not use words just for the sake of sounding good, use only words that express exactly what you feel.

Nice xxx
comment back would ya?
please and thank u

That was an excellent song! it really had a good flow to it and i have a beat in my head that would fit perfectly for it! great write! i hope u find ur bro! 5/5

GREAT! I LOVE THIS POEM. AND IM SORRY YOUR BROTHER WENT MISSING.

I LOVE YOU SIS!
ASHLA