Good poem---The flow is on target and your word choice is perfect. The only thing that doesn't make this poem one of my favorites is that it doesn't seem to have the depth that a lot of your pieces have---Still, great work----5/5

Well that's the creepiest poem i've ever read. umm.. congratulations?

but seriously.. very nicely written. i'm hoping this isn't from experience!!!

One word: creepy.

But overall you handled this topic very well indeed. As vulgar as the situation you are writing about is, you captured the emotions, the hatred and the physical effects very well.

"Listen gently to your screams fall to the ground."

This line sounded kind of... off? I think it would sound better if it said something such as:

"Listen gently AS your screams fall to the ground."

or

"Listen gently to your screams falling to the ground."

Anyway, very good work. 5/5.

Wow this was really good I liked everything about it. It kind of reminded me of Silence of the lambs. What I liked the most was how you managed to make the whole thing sound so inticing(sp?) but as you realised what you were talking about it became very freaky. I got kind of drawn into it. Well done.