Never been

I tried once and failed. It hurt. What can I say I was younger than. I know more about life now and that makes things hard. These is always the pain of what could have been but isn't. The swirling, shooting pain and tniggling. I'm told to get over to but I can people don't know how hard it is. I look out at other people and places. Its hard to believe its been so long but I'll live I hope. Family is no help it never is but soon I hope he'll see me and I'll be seen and life will get better.