Love sucks

I was there for you as you were for me, You are married to my cousin but we fell for one another.
She treats you like crap and i treat you like a king, we cuddled, you told me i was your queen.
As time went on i really fell for you, you got in my bed and we made love, we didnt use a condom, i thought i was pregnant thank god im not!!!!
No one know\'s, I tried to tell you how i felt, but i couldnt get it out, I cant tell anyone, My family would disown me.
I wanted to run away run very very far away so i dont have to face the facts
Now that were apart my smile has dissapeared my laugh has faded, everything is so depressing.
I dont even want to look at myself in the mirror, I was a beautiful lady inside and out and now i feel so ugly and disgusted with myself.
I miss making your meals, putting little notes with your lunch telling you to have a wonderful day and ill miss you, i miss coming home from school and greeting you from your day off, I miss cuddling with you at night, I miss your gentle touches and kisses.
This loneliness is killing me, where did my happiness go? or my cute laugh? even my beautiful smile is gone. all of its gone. I cant seem to find it. someone help me. my life is spinning in front of me, I have no one to confide in that will understand.