Comments : As I Walked Across This Bridge Of Dreams

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    "As I walk across this bridge of dreams
    Many wonderful things have I seen
    Wonderful things that will never be
    Because it was only a dream "

    What an unexpected ending. I was like aww throught the begining of it but then the ending just shocked me! I like that about the poem. It had a good flow and good word choice. Keep it up! xx

  • 17 years ago

    by Mousie

    It didn't really flow all that good, and your rhyming was a little forced... in some places it rhymed and in some places it didn't. i liked the idea though. maybe just go back and tweek a few things.

  • 17 years ago

    by Imperfect

    I love this poem.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I enjoyed this, I thought the wording and imagery were amazing.
    I found the flow to be off in a couple of places, but apart from that, I really liked it.
    I also liked the alternate ending better than the first one.
    P.S I didn't get your comment, I think the site stole it o.O

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I agree with what some other people said. The flow and rhyming seemed to be a bit off.

    Other than that though, I found it really sweet. It's a shame the way it ended, I was shocked!

    Good work.

  • 17 years ago

    by ShootingStar179

    Your rhymes seem very forced. This is not as good as the previous one I read of yours. Please try to revise those rhymes and I think you will have more success. You have very meaningful themes though.