God they are all so LONNNNNNNNNNNNG! It was really good! Keep up the good work!

I loved your poem..thanks for the comment i needed it i'm just a beginer....~fuzball~

THIS IS A REALLY GOOD POEM IS IT TRUE ?

+.+ So sad and true, ppl should just learn to say no....:'(. Very, very well done +.+

*sigh* I wanted to be the first again, but alas, I will still leave my comment.

Like the previous poem you wrote, this one was very interesting. I don't want to leave a long comment this time, so I'll keep it short. The rhyme scheme was alright, you used the same word 'again' twice. Well, one verse after the other. The ideas were good, but the last poem you had were a lot better. I guess I'm comparing this one too much to your last. Well overall, a good effort. Keep on writing!

This was a very powerful piece. It sent out a strong message to all of your readers. The only part that I think sounds a little "off" is this:

He was laughing, calm
He'd done this before
He laughed even harder
When I asked him not to do it no more.

Its whenever you were trying to make the last line rhyme with the second line. It would probably sound better if you changed "no more" to "anymore".

Great job on this poem. It actually brought tears to my eyes. Keep it up.

I thought this was a wonderful write. The flow was a little rough in a few places and the stanzas were broken in one instance, but overall the message received in the 2 line stanza was enough to carry it through. This is my own opinion and I am by no mean an expert, only a mere beginner myself. I enjoyed the write and look forward to reading more.

Wow, I'm not sure what you would think of that, the story is heartwrenching... the poem itself was good, but the flow was a little off, it was hard to follow... i did like it though, and i hope it isn't true, but it sounds like it might be... good emotions though

Wow, so powerful. So true, as well. I thought this was wonderful. I loved the emotion created here. It was really easy to feel how sorry and devastated the speaker was.

Excellent work.

Nice poem. Good message. I will admit I'm not a fan of long story poems. Keep it up

Omg wow this was really good. there was defiantly tons of emotion in this and i liked the length of the poem.
i think you have improved a lot because your other poem i read was short and didn't have that many big words in it. this one had a lot of good words. and i really felt like i could see this all happen. it was just amazing. keep it up! 5/5

~Krisina

That was so amazing! It kept me reading and left me wanting more. That was really good and I could definately picture everything that was happening. The twisted cars, his bloody lifeless body, you bending down to feel his pulse, and the guy calling the police. It was so good! I especially loved:
I can hear him behind me
Calling an ambulance on his phone
Even though he is right behind me
I've never felt more alone.
That was again such an amazing picture. You are definately being added to my favorites. Great job! And please keep writing.
~Midnight Sun

This is sad. i want no one to ever die. but its life for some reason.

5/5 it was imaginative and perfect. stucture needs a bit of work. but still great!

David

Wow. this gave me the chills at the end. it was a very deep poem and i felt like i was there and it was happening to me! superb. 5/5