Zombies

Okay, for a little boy with an imagination this is pretty good. But if you want to be known as more then that I would suggest writing about something that everyone else can relate to. That is the key to attracting an audience. So write upon expeirience, and see what you find. I am a little surpprised at your vocabulary though. I have 3 little brothers, and a little sister (2 are twins) and they are 13, 13, and 11, im nor sure about the other one lol but they are what your poem reminds me of. I do have a couple suggestions though if you are interested?

"zombies eat without paying the check." I do say, that is a clever line, and kinda funny too, but it just doesnt make sence where you have put it. Well sure it makes sence, but for a good poem you have to try to keep a natural rhythm through the whole thing. Almost like you can sing it and not get off beat. That is the goal. And in order to do that you might want to keep a rhyme through the whole thing. But bravo on the stanza's. Lol it took me a while to even realize what people were talking about when I first got on this site. And The same for the last line. I think that is also off beat. But good job for your efforts and good vocabulary.

Your getting better

What do u call that are u gothic or soming bro or are you just saying it dur

Um well it's good but not my sort of thing sorry bro, but don't be discouraged it was only your 1st one.

Good poem!
I found the last stanza the best!
=-)
Great work