Comments : Who Died Of Sucide

  • 17 years ago

    by Letty

    This is another touching sad poem. I love the emotion that I can actually feel when reading your poems. The flow would have been perfect though if you would have used punctuation. also you made spelling and grammer error's that need to be fixed. for example:

    Will fade along with the memorys of me

    Memorys, should be Memories

    I guess I should be happy that you arent grieving all the

    In this line I think you should change it a little :

    I GUESS I SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT YOU'RE NOT GRIEVING ALL THE TIME.

    That reads a whole lot better because using aren't made it kind of arkward to read.Also I think that this poem would read better if the structure was corrected and if you broke it up into stanzas. But everything else about it is fine and I really enjoyed reading it. Keep writing ! 5/5

    Best wishes
    Letty

    P.S. I only commented on two of your poems because you only commented on one of mine, but you were suppose to do two.

  • 17 years ago

    by Edward D Zurovec

    OK This to makes me feel Very sad . I'm no critique but I know SADNESS see, In 1990 my dad committed suicide,it is not pretty.Still I wish he were here to talk to..Good poem
    Tissue please,, thanks

  • 17 years ago

    by SammiBABY

    Thats really sad but well written.. life is really hard but suicide is definately not the answer. check out my poem "the reality of suicide" if you seriously consider suicide.
    take care
    xx

  • 17 years ago

    by Tainted Butterfly

    You are a gifted writer and I say this because to me, one who is gifted transforms me into their world by what they write. I am taken right to where you are in your poems and that is a gift. Don't forget that! Keep writing.