So Many Things...

There is so much I wish I could do
So much I needed to say
I will never forget that fate-full day
I miss how we use to cuddle and play

I don't know what to do
I'm going out of my mind
Peace, is what i wish i could find

Since you left me
It gets harder and harder to see
You left me in this cold and lonely world
Once again a scared little girl

I could always rely on you
You always new what to do

When I was scared
You were always there
Never afraid or worried

You use to tell me to take it day-by-day
Now thats just to long
Because your gone

When my sister called and said it was important
My heart immediately stated hurting

I knew something was wrong
The feeling was to strong

She said the words I feared the most
"Steven is gone..."
My face turned white like a ghost

I didn't believe her at first
Just the thought is the worst
Never being able to see his sweet face
I feel so out of place
God, this hurts

I lay in bed at night and cry
Wishing you didn't die
Why God?

Sometimes i want to die
But i know Steven wants me to move on
But how do i do that when such a huge part of my life is gone

Maybe if i was there
You'd still be here

What makes me smile
Is knowing you look down on me
Hoping one day I'll wake up and see
Your standing right next to me...

**To my first love and my best friend the one i could always depend on Steven who pasted away June 20, 2006 I'll always love you..**

**please rate cause this poem might be put on his new grave stone and i want to make sure its worthy enough**