Comments : Where did it all go

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    I really liked this poem. It was sad and very I could relate to it a lot. I'm sure most people could relate. There were only a few grammar mistakes I saw. The i's need to be capitalized.

    So i wont have to hate you
    So i wont have to wipe the tears out of my eyes
    ^^Wont I think should be wouldn't.

    The truth was to strong
    ^^To should be too.

    I shouldn't had heard it
    ^^Had should be have.

    So i wont have to care but your to hard to forget
    ^^Wont should be wouldn't.

    When you was always there
    ^^Was should be were.

    Now that you lost my trust
    ^^I'm not sure if this should be: "Now you've lost my trust." or "Now that you've lost my trust."

    Sorry if I was a little too picky. I'm pretty much a grammar freak. I really did like your poem though! Oh and thanks so much for commenting on my poem "Live Life At Random". :]

    Keep writing!
    Cayce