Wow, that was awesome!
I mean it, it was so deep, really sad though.
So much emotion, i could really feel the pain
Keep writing, you have talent
xxxxx

Omg i LOVE it! i can so relate to it! dnt ever cut urself over any stupid shit trust me it aint worth all da scars, i kno

The bad:
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[Truly and (whole)]
&
[The great gaping {hole}]
Correction: (Whole) and {hole} sound the same. I know they're not the same words, but try mixing it up a bit. It sounds as if you're just looking for something to rhyme it with.

The whole first stanza is lacking in pronunciation. It makes it difficult to read, because it looks like one run on sentence. Try putting semi-colans or periods or commas in here and there where you might want to break it up a bit. By doing this, it would make it more legible to everyone, and therefore, voters would be happier with the outcome.

The rhymes you used didn't seem forced or anything, but they did seem cliche. You need to mix them up a bit so we'll have something to look at other than little words that rhyme with other small words.

The good:
--------------------------------
I liked the repetition. It made me think that you really wanted to get your point across. And you did so. Very well in fact. Repetition is one of the very good things in poetry. It really tells the reader that you're trying to get your idea, or a thought across their minds.

The depth you put into this was incredible. I give you props for that. I really liked how you just let your emotions out, and didn't care what we thought. Well done. =) 5/5 xoxo

Samantha

Fantastic.
=] I really liked the first stanza, mostly because I can relate a lot to everything you said. The imagery was amazing, flow was great, and overall there was really nothing that was wrong. Great job hun! Keep it up. 5/5

Stephanie.

Very powerful. i felt u really showed ur feelings and displayed a very good knowledge of what works in a poem. it's to be commended. great poem :) 5/5

The emotion on this one was great. I loved the first part.. it held so much depth. It was very powerful and heartfelt. Nicely done!! =) 4.5/5