Love is.......

Love is talking to her and looking into her eyes,
knowing that no matter how hard you wish,
she will never look at you the way you look at her,
or the way she looks at him.

Love is listening to her talk about how wonderful her boyfriend is
and smiling, pretending your happy for her.
Constantly talking about him,
just to see her eyes light up the way they never will for you.

Love is logging into myspace to see their picture,
the last thing you see before the tears blur everything else.
Knowing that right now she is dreaming of him,
like you are dreaming of her.

Love is when you wonder why she doesn't love you,
then looking into the mirror and remembering.
Resurrecting a sharpened blade
and painting your arm red.

Love is locking yourself in the bathroom for a half an hour,
because you don't want anyone to see how much your crying,
curled up in the corner silently dying
silently asking god why he hates you so much.

Love is staying up until three in the morning
because you cannot get her out of your head.
Crying until the sun comes up,
and slicing into the flesh you have grown to despise.

Love is smiling at them, and saying you are doing good.
hoping they will see under the mask and care.
praying that one day they will see past the Cheraide .
Knowing that they mean the world to you, but you mean little to them.

Love is riping open the vein in your wrist.
Drawing your last breaths drowning in a pool of blood.
Not focusing on the pain, too distracted thinking of them.
Wishing that in death, they would look at you
The way you always wished they looked at you in life.