Comments : If You Fall

  • 14 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    This is beautiful. I would make a couple tweaks to the following stanzas for the purpose of flow. Either way, it's still a beautiful poem. 5/5!

    But I floated back to the top
    And gasped a breath of air
    It's then I knew I'd be okay
    No matter what we share

    I can be your dearest friend
    If that is what you need
    I can be your one and only
    If that's where this will lead

  • 14 years ago

    by Olivia

    Thanks for the criticism. Always respected. I know i'm not anywhere a great writer yet, but I am slowly working on it.

    Good one by the way :D
    Keep it up!

    -Olivia.

  • 14 years ago

    by Cindy

    I really loved this poem. The love you have for the one you write is a very deep one. I love the way you say you will be there no matter what. Excellent job!

  • 14 years ago

    by heather

    Omygosh im not even kidding that gave me chill bumps! absolutely beautiful...i love it. great job!!!!!!!

  • 14 years ago

    by Gem

    Thats so sweet, especially the last stanza when you return the favour.
    It's gorge!!
    5/5
    *Gem*

  • 14 years ago

    by Angel Of Death

    Great poem, i love it! its so sweet, ur an excellent writer! u rock;)
    ____XOX

  • 14 years ago

    by Midnight Sun

    Comment for contest:

    I really love how emotional this is for you. It seems so personal! And it really shows a self-sacrificing spirit. Great job and sorry it took so long to comment :)
    ~Midnight Sun

  • 14 years ago

    by Jessica Lynn

    This is a cute poem i like it a lot .. keep writting

  • 14 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Awwwwww this is so sweet...wonderful poem!

  • 14 years ago

    by e l flo

    Beautiful work as usual!!! keep it up :)

    Erin

  • 14 years ago

    by Jessica Lynn

    Awll this is soo cute i love it great job !

  • 14 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    Beautiful poem. optimistic look to the position the person in the poem is in.

  • 14 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Very nice sentiments contained in this piece. Well written with excellent flow and rhyme. Good job as always!
    Debbie

  • 14 years ago

    by TheWorldFellNUWerentThere

    Aww. That is so sweet! 5/5

  • This is very sweet. I loved it all, especially the last stanza. Good job 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    This is a sweetp oem hun i really like the style of this work of yours its so rmoanic and i love the whole big metaphor at the start realy set the mood. :D
    xxx alexxxx

  • 14 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Wow, LOVE this. Absolutely love this. So captivating, I lost my breath after reading the first two stanzas `cuz they were so well written lol.

    "So I cried myself a river
    Never thought I would
    Sunk down to the bottom
    Deeper than I should"

    ^^ How in the world do you do this? YOu are damaging my ego, Darling LOL.

    5.5
    :]

  • 13 years ago

    by Lizaveta

    Very beutiful, tender and sincere

    my favourite stanza:
    You've been my secret love
    My best friend through it all
    So I should return the favor
    And catch you if you fall.

    good job!))))

    Lizaveta