Im soo sorry to hear that
It wasnt too bad..i liked ur choice of words also the contrast between the paragraphs..it really had alot of effect!
Well i hope ur ok! if u need to talk to anyone u know im here :)

Take Care
And
Keep Smiling x

Im sorry to hear that :(
I like what you wrote and the choice of words..5/5

I'm here for you girl..
take care

Short stories for the win! I like the description used in this, it's vivid. Now, I'm not going to be one of those people who say, "I could almost see it" because I'm sure you'll get that a lot in future comments, but I was able to paint a picture and add in details, even the ones that were missing, For example, only his eyes were described, but I managed to in vision a whole person. The ending is, not as strong as the beginning, but the rest of the short story makes up for it. Keep up the good work.

The description oin this short story was really great. You could imagine it all. I like the way the first paragraph and the secound one contradict each other, it was very effective. The vocabulary usage was good, and i really liked the begining more then the ending yet overall it was a good short story. keep writng! xx