This had really good rhyme and flow. the only thing is I noticed in the lines,
"Yet still you caress his body and chest." (body and chest are pretty much the same) and in, "You don't want this, with your deceit filled lies," deciet is a lie/lying. so maybe you could a little of the vocab maybe. Overall I liked the story it told.

marcella

I so0o love this poem!
Well obviously you already knew this or I wouldn't have given you first place in the contest haha.
But seriously, I think you did a marvelous job with this one.

Wow. this poem is full of strong emotion. not sure what to say about htis. except there is a typo. Poor your heart-pour

There is such strong emotion in this, I read it as if you were putting so much into every word. I really like it. It really tells the story, with good imagery too. Your rhyming worked well and the flow was great. Overall such an excellent poem. Sorry to hear what inspired this poem though.

Tammie

The title first is great. drew me into the poem. made me wonder what this is about. also it is catchy. the poem itself is sweet!

short yet very detailed and precise. 5/5

David