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Very very dark, I like it. Though your second line sounded forced.. and right here: |
by J Lau
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Normally I don't like sucidial poems, but loved the flow and rhyme of this one. It was well written. My only suggestion is to break it up into stanzas to add some more punch and sense of seperation. Well done. 5/5 |
by N J Thornton
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That was sad. I'm personally not keen on cutting poems, but that said, this was very emotional and with out a doubt touching. |
by Kaila
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Omg this was really sad i loved it |
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Awesome job. i loved it. it was so sad and dark. keep up the good work. 5^5. |
by Cella Bella
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This is really sad... but you wrote it beautifully. though some of the rhymes seemed a little forced. 5/5 |
by Kaila
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I loved it! it was so sad your greaT! and very talented! |
by Curry
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So sad=[ but amazingly amazing writing! =] |
by bobo2011
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Dam that was good..could yet again feel the pain in which the poem was written. love sam |
by Not Enough
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The best poem I've read so far. It's touching and deep. Very poetic. And the rhyming makes it really stand out. Awesome poem! |
by N J Thornton
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Already commented on this one...still think the same thing; still not keen on cutting poems. :) |
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A bit cliche but I can relate to the pain |
by Jenni Marie
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This was great! |
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This poem was...i dont know. all your peotry is amazing. this poem was very easy for me to relate to. i used to cut. and i am often suicidal. the flow of this was beautiful and you painted a perfect picture in the readers mind. it was...(insert positive adj here) |
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OMG I love it! It's so deep and full of emotion! 5/5! XD |
by Nix
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Well... This poem is written excellently and topic is great, but I don't like last line. |
by AmberSherrellxxIve Been Sitting Here Trying To Find Myselfxx
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Very dark.Awesome flow and I loved the word choice. You're a great writer but heck you don't need me to tell you that. Oh and I LOVE THREE DAYS GRACE!*lol* |
by AmberSherrellxxIve Been Sitting Here Trying To Find Myselfxx
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Wow!That was intense!The flow was nearly flawless and I could feel your pain.The visual you painted was great.5/5 |
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I love three days grace.. |
by Alissa
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This was a great poem, I liked how it set to modern times, and you added the touch of a band that sand about pain. You did great, adding more interest for the readers. Your flow was a bit off on this one, but it didn't distract much on how great you did. I loved the words you chose, great job! |