I asked for non cliche poems (to save me beign to harsh). This is cliche to me. It's a typical overused subject filled will overused descriptions, eg "broken heart" "soul" "tears" "behind the smile..." I've heard it all too many times before.
Sorry not my type of poem.

OH MY GOSH!!! i love this poem... great job ELIZABETH
- billy bob <3 hah

This was very well written
Great work
5/5!!
=-)

Your an excellent writter

* well this poem was so so sad. the emotion in it was elecrtic. i could feel the persons pain.

brittle bones
weak from pain
with all to lose
but nothing to gain

they are the lines i love most! great poem

5/5 David

* You did a great job. When you think about it, it has alot of meanings 5/5 keep it up. oh yea i forgot....I love the way you wrote it and the words you used.

5/5 excellent. i can totally relate. been there, done that. good job. =] *

--linds[[x]]

Wow, this was an excellent poem and the emotion in it was great, i give it 5/5

Wow, this was an excellent poem and the emotion in it was great, i give it 5/5

Hey, I hate to say it again but it's true this is an 'overused' subject. However, don't take this personally because every poet has to do this kind of vent (believe it or not, it is a kind of venting) atleast once.Heck, I still do it sometimes. So don't feel bad or take it too close to heart... With all that aside, the only thing I'd say you might want to fix is simply the grammar and the spelling. It took my attention away from the meaning of the poem -especially when I had to stop and realize the word 'thats' was meant to be 'that'... So just go through it, reading slowly will help you, and fix it up a bit. It's not a big problem, but it sometimes causes for some harshly critical comments. (If the mistakes have annoyed the reader enough)... So far thought you've gotten some good feedback, and for good reason. :) Keep it up

*That was an awesome poem, I loved that way that it was written. It seems like you knew just the way to break up the phrases to make the feel of the poem stick. Keep up the good work, you are a brillant poet. *5/5*

Alyson

* I think this is a very nice poem. And my suggestion is, synnonyms. Take a few words and make them one's that are heard a lot less. I personally like the poem as is. It's cliche but, written really well nonetheless. I think it's a beautiful write. 5/5

marcella

Synonyms lol that's what I meant. haha :]

I like it, can relate to it. 5/5

Ah, so much better.
Just wonderful! I really liked this poem.
The flow was great, and the rhyme didn't
seemed forced at all. Keep it up!
God Bless 5/5
<3tay^__^

I really liked the overall flow of this poem. You caught my attention and hed it. The flow of the poem has alot to do with that. I liked your rhyme scheme you have going hear, every secound and fourth stanza rhyming. But i dont htink you kindof stuck with this rhyme scheme in the last two stanzas. They dont seem to go with the rest of the poem becuase of that. Rhyming hides with eye's, made me feel like that was forced. Anywyas i liekd the structure of the poem, 6 stanza's with 4 lines each. The lines were quite short yet they worked. I liekd the alliteration you used hear, "brittle bones". The reader wants to read more of this poem... they want to know more about this story. Again im going to ask you to use punctuation. But an enjoyable read. Keep writing! xx

This is incredible! i really felt the emotion..great job! =]