Its not bad. The ryhme scheme messes up afew time and messes with the flow and all, but otherwise its well written.

*4/5*

[PygmyPuff]

4/5. it was really neat. =] different.. lol. i liked it. <3

-linds [[x]]

Great job nice poem i loved it

This poem was great it made me smile alot i really liked it
Take Care
xoHSxo

To be honest this piece is good.

I stared at them
All night long
I admired them
Some what too long

You could try changing the last line to make the flow better. Thats my advise.
Tc