Aww. the words you used were perfect. however,in my opinion there is an error of the tense in the first line. the stanzas are in different lengths and look better when they are closer. anyway--5/5. your a great writer! poet...

Good job on your poem. The love and saness can both be felt through out the peice.

This boy so sweet and true,
Never knew there was another girl,
Watching and waiting,
Hoping a love for her would unfurl.

This stanza was very touching.
Take Care Cindy

The pain of waiting and hoping that eventually your love would be recognized is so apparent in this piece. Wonderfully written.

Jeannie

Awe. This was really good. It flowed so well. It had a lot of emotion in it. The pain, just brought tears to my eyes.. I could actually feel it. The wording was great.. Nothing seemed forced at all. I absolutley adored the last two lines of this.. It really summed up this poem perfectly.

Beautifully penned.

Bri x

Voted 5/5 .. this is truly amazing i loved it! It reminds me of the way I understood a poem from our english anthology - love after love... i don't know where you're from or how old you are.. but i'll show you it if you don't know what i mean.. anyway this
"This boy so sweet and true,
Never knew there was another girl,
Watching and waiting,
Hoping a love for her would unfurl."

was my favourite stanza it shows so truly and openly how you, if this is your own experience, feel so beautifully in your description of the boy.
I tried to write a poem about this one time - it wasn't very successful though to be honest with you.. I'm not sure but I think you might have muddled up your tenses a bit. slipping between past and present at the end.. actually its probably supposed to be like that now i've re-read it... but all in all i wonderful poem that i could really relate to - well done!

thanks xxxx

There is just a thing breaks the rhyme,use didn't instead of did not
And i liked the wording and expression

and i agree please just do not be too repetitive
Best of all you have a talented imaginery,make sure you keep that talent with you,i liked especially these lines

This boy so sweet and true,
Never knew there was another girl,
Watching and waiting,
Hoping a love for her would unfurl.

Those are so sweet and i believe most of people can relate coz everybody has a secret love in life at least once
Have a nice day
See ya
Laura

Oh wow.. that was an amazing poem. I can totally relate to this poem, because I was going through the same thing at the beginning of this year. It was so hurtful, because he didn't even know I existed, and yet.. I like him so much. But anyway, enough about me, and more about the poem. The poem was GREAT!! The flow and the wording was really well, awesome choice of words. It's so filled with raw emotion, it just makes your heart ache and want to reach out to the girl in this poem, because at one point or another, we all have a love like this one. Its good that through out the whole poem you keep a constant theme of the girl wishing he would see that she loves him and that he would love her too. Its a wonderful write! Great job, you have a lot of talent as a poet, I hope it takes you far! 5/5
Much Love,
.:Danielle:.

Oh wow poor guy!! I know what he has or is going through. and it sucks major! But I think you expressed the feelings very very well in this poem it was an excellent write You did a great job I loved the rhyming it made the poem flow more nicely and it had a certain rhythm to it I also loved the last stanza because now i know what your going through as well I've had many scenerios like this and I know it hurts but again great poem nice job!! keep up the good work 5/5 for sure! love kaila

I really liked the ending of the poem, it tied it together really good. A greatly penned piece full of emotion, I loved it.

"Why does it hurt so?
She asks with tears in her eyes,
I love him so much,
I cannot help but cry."

^^ That stanza was amazing. Keep up the great writing.

5/5 (:

So touching....