I enjoyed the unique vision of this poem, especially the comparision to a drug. You wrote it quite elequently and with a great deal of passion. This poem has a lot of personal meaning to me also, most likely in a different way than you wrote it for, but because of its meaning for me, I enjoyed reading it even more. You had an amazing flow to your words. Nice write.

-Tainted Miko

Its a very good poem...i love it!!

I love it=) its sad but also sweet, great work 5/5

Hmm...well I don't totally agree with the Jordan guy...But yeah I do agree it's not your best. However ^^ I don't think it would be completely fair to rank your poems. Because to me, each and everyone one of my poems are different and I don't categorize them from the best to the worst. Each tell a different story, like different strands in your hair. You can't like one more than the other. This poem was another story for you I presume? And well, it may not be as vivid as another one, but never the less, it had that same flow and uniqueness which you deliver in most of your poems :)...That's a good way to put it...hehe...Well I liked it...though at times it was confusing on the whole I got the point. Quite a heart renchingp point in fact. To be longing for someone and not able to show it due to circumstances.
- Ash

Oh this was beautiful...
The first stanza was such a great opening, and it just kept getting better.
I thought the flow was flawless, the imagery beautiful and I enjoyed the wording and rhyme scheme.
You did a great job with this.

This is good. You present the story very well and it progresses smoothly.

Poetically, there are a few changes I think you could make. Let me know, and I will email you through your profile with more details.

Great work!

What inspires you to write? is there a girl in your life who you feel can never be yours? all though I don't know you, and have read very little of your poems (for now), I feel like I can relate to your feelings, keep writing, I'll keep reading.

Awesome write. i really enjoyed it. 5/5 from me.

That is beautiful. i wish someone would write a poem like that for me. :)

But fantastic work!!!!

Josie

That was pretty good. the flow was almost flawless. It was an amazing write full of such emtion. Keep up the good work 5/5

I didn't expect the ending to be like that, I figured it'd be more of a rejection type thing. But, making it what I think it will be.. well, that's just not you. Lol.

You did a great job with this poem. The last stanza brought the entire poem together. I really liked this actually, I didn't think I would..

Keep it up, hun.
5/5

This is an amazing poem! great job. brought tears to my eyes! keep it up!!!

xo

I really like this poem because it reminds me so much of my life. It has lots of thought put into it. You are a great writer!!

Now let me just say before I go through each stanza..I LOVE this!!

"You are beautiful to me
When you do your little dance
It is funny how much is seen
With just harmless glance"

^^ I liked the opening stanza, it's always amazing how much you can tell/know about a person just by one look and you captured that well.

"I'm glad that you are happy
Yet there are tears in my eyes
Because of certain circumstances
Your voice causes me to cry"

^^ This was a twist, from the opening it seems that it's going to be about something happy yet here you show that it's not without yet saying why, which adds mystery and makes me want to continue reading.

"I'm infatuated with you
Captivated by your smile
I would really appreciate it
If you could stay a while"

^^ Not to keen on this verse. Seems a little weak.

"Your presence is like a toxin
A quite addicting drug
And when you aren't here
I feel the withdrawals tug"

^^Favourite stanza of the poem. I love the metaphor use here, very unique.

"But when you decide to leave
The times when you are gone
The pains seems overwhelming
And everything goes wrong"

^^I didn't like the constanr "the" maybe:

But when you decide to leave
Those times when you are gone
Overwhelming pain appears
And everything goes wrong"

"I write all this down
So no one hears my cries
I take one harmless glance
So no one can see my eyes..."

^^ I LOVE this, so bittersweet that it instantly tugs on the reader's heart.

I really enjoyed this one.