You did it once more

Mom
You bring me to life
for a bit of time
your next to my side
but then you were gone
before i turned 5
you told me you loved me
but hit me once more
you told me you wanted to see me
but turn your back to me once more

all i could do is cry
a waste of time
you never even asked
if i was fine
you never cared
its not fair
maybe you were just scared
but now i don't care

Your not my mom
your no one to me
you did your drugs an forgot about me

i use to miss your smell
from a cold winters day
you smelt of Cigarettes an spray
my love for you has gone a stray

things from the past faded away
most of my life got up an walked away
like you did that day

years have gone by an I'm 16 now
but who knows what you think
perhaps you still think I'm your baby girl
but how would you know it was so long ago

the pain an the hate will fade away
like you did from my memories day by day
all you are now to me is some stranger that might call me baby

but no one calls me baby unless i say its ok
my sister says you never hit me
but she don't know the flashbacks i get when I'm alone

the love in my heart has gone away an replaced it with hate
Daddy always told me baby be strong every thing will be ok
you don't need her you got me today
you beat me in the mall
you beat me at home
i got sick of it an walked away
daddy took a restraining order out on you
but it went away 6 years ago today
an i told you for dayz an dayz
you can see me now don't be afraid
but you did it again you walked away
an flushed are love down the drain

life is hard but its 10 times better since your gone for good
cause i don't need you or your love
the hate inside of me is stronger than blood
trust me i live with it every day

Its your fault cause your the one that went away
an one day when your 6 feet under I'm gonna spit on your god damn grave
cause your as low as it gets mama
I'd be ashamed.

~Early~