This is good! The first few lines really hooked me into reading it! Keep it up.

Ok, The flow was off during this poem i think its because some lines were to short making the syllable count mixed up all over the place. The ryhme scheme well half the time their was the ryhme then it just went. And when you ryhmed your ryhmed "it" with "it" which through me off this poem. IF you change some of these things then im sure it would have potential to become a really nice love poem. A good effort with this tho!