Wow, that'spretty deep. I think I was a little confused in the beginning, I hope you don't really stress about that. However, by the time I got to them end I realized why you've categorized it in Dark & Fantasy. I think you're figurative language and way you express you're emotions are very good. Rather than just rhyming words straight out, you put them into thoughts and compare them and paint a picture with words. I really liked it.
Wow, that was a brilliant piece my friend. I really liked the rhyming in this one, and the flow was excellent. Everything seemed natural and not forced. There was a hint of darkness in this one, but it was more of an interesting read. Good to see some new talent on this site. Keep writing man.
This piece had nice flowing, but the rhyming could be altered. When I read rhyming poems I prefer constistancy in them. This poems depth was interesting, and I'm still thinking about it, and what every word has to do with it. I'm absorbing all the poem has to say. It's a beautifully dreadful image. Something to read more than once.