Comments : I'll See Your Heart And Raise You Mine

  • 14 years ago

    by Twisted Heart

    Very unique piece of work here. I liked how you did the format of using a card game as a catalyst to love.

    One thing, and I hope I'm not being too harsh but this part:

    Be prepared to go all in
    I'll see your heart and raise you mine
    (The deciding move... do you accept?)
    I'll see your heart and raise you mine

    I think would sound better if done like this:

    Be prepared to go all in
    (The deciding move... do you accept?)
    I'll see your heart and raise you mine

    Just my opinion. I think the line 'I'll see your heart and raise you mine' is such a powerful and emothional line it stands on its own without having to be repeated. But like I said, It is only my opinion.

    Otherwise good job.

    Always,
    Jeannie

  • 14 years ago

    by chavii

    The way you have used cards to state your feelings is a complete masterpiece. Something never read before. Great poem.

  • 14 years ago

    by Cindy

    Gem
    What a great poem. I love what you did with this.

    I'll see your heart and raise you mine
    (The deciding move... do you accept?)
    I'll see your heart and raise you mine

    I really loved this.
    Take care Love Cindy

  • 14 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Love the title. An interesting style for you and a very well thought out piece. It was unique in every aspect and I enjoyed that. Good job Gem!
    Charisma*

  • 14 years ago

    by XSugarSexSuicideX

    Nice poem...way to bring a card game we all love and add it to the one thing we all gamble with...our hearts.

    ~~Rikki...aka SSS~~

  • 14 years ago

    by dora

    Hey hun i luv reading ur work. just let u no that ive caught up with all ur poems theyrereally good and so meaningful. this one was good. great job keep it up n thanks for the msg lol atm im actually sick but i might try writing a poem hehe neway cya xx

  • 14 years ago

    by Romantic Lover

    You never cease to amaze me with your creativity. This was outstanding. What a great analogy.
    I loved it.

  • 14 years ago

    by Im In Love What Can I Say

    This is cool its like the game chess i think. well 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Definitely a little gem, Gemma...;-)...Definitely......
    (a bit of a song really, with echoes in the background...)

  • 14 years ago

    by Leanne

    Such a unique and amazingly written poem, i love reading your work, your a very talented writer!! =D

  • 14 years ago

    by anthony

    I liked very much. i needed 2 read very much...
    Peace
    Anthony

  • 14 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    Great poem. I liked the whole card game effect. Very nicely written.

    Ciao~

  • 14 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    It's so sweet and affective
    The emotions are inside of your poem getting in reader's heart
    And i liked that quote

    In this game of love, it's every man for himself
    You have to play your cards right

    So true
    Good job

  • 14 years ago

    by Hatori

    Congrats on the 3rd place! I love the topic that you chose for this poem! It gave it a different effect and makes it stand out. I agree with most the people that have commented before me :D.

  • 14 years ago

    by amanda flood

    Ah that is so sweet very well written i loved it great choice of words put together :]

  • 14 years ago

    by ReBecca

    I loved this Gem. It was different and unique. I like poetry that is unique, but not so far off the wall that you dont know what the message is. Way to go!!

  • 14 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    I really loved the title of this, and when I read it that love just grew lol. It was very creative and I liked the brackets between which helped give a little more explanation and everything. Goes right along with the saying love is a gamble haha, I loved it. Keep it up. ^_^

  • 14 years ago

    by Vanessa

    This was really diffrent. i loved it. It is a good read, and an even better write 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Cute and clever! Another gem!

  • 14 years ago

    by MEMI

    This is great