Very sad ending, but over all, it was a amazing poem. You have a great way to make rhyming seem so natural and unforced, I really like that about you're style. Great job of expressing such a dire topic in today's society. Kudos!
This poem is so beautiful!!!!! I loved this... my families in the military, Dad just got back from Diego Gracia.. an island off of Iraq.. I loved the emotion you put into it.... I LOVED your rhyming it never was forced. I think the only thing you can do is on this:
Then one month they stopped
Many more passed by
Then I received the news
That caused me to scream and cry
Instead of 'that caused me to scream and cry' try 'That caused me to cry' Just flows better..
But other than that darlin' it was perfect. Very Beautiful! This was my favorite part:
Every day was agony
Never seeming to get better
The only comfort I had was
Holding on to your lette
That was just amazing. The emotion you packed into that just leaves me speachless. The rhythm was perfect, and your rhymes were great. Most of all I love what you had to say. My favorite line was "The only comfort I had was
Holding on to your letter"
That just had me thinking. I look forward to reading more of your work.