Personally, I enjoyed this piece and I thought the message was good, but sometimes it seemed like you were straying from the topic you were writing about. Also, the flow was a little bit staccato and off, but for the most part, good job! keep it up!

~jas~

Interesting poem. I loved reading it. Once again... I completely agree with your point.

Wow this was very strong and well said! a meaningful, very powerful write!
keep it up!
nuff luv x