Very good poem, I really enjoyed this. Keep up the good work. Check out some of my poems when you have the time.

Best Wishes
Wallace

Hmmm....didnt expect it to end like that lol. Very shocked haha. It flowed good, great vocab. Seems like a calm tone to me, dont know if you get what I mean. Anyways keep it up! 5/5

Thanks for the comments :) anyway should I change the ending? :P

Oh wow. Geez. That was really good. As you have heard from others, I believe the ending was surprizing. It was sad, but wonderful. Keep it up. 5/5

Thanks I'll try to change the ending :) thanks guys this will really help me improve!

Marc dont change the ending do much I would focus more on the characters pain in the earlier parts I think the ending with the character killing him self is great yes surpriseing maybe but fitting.

Ok thanks Robin this will help me :)

My friend, you created such an appealing setting it was very beautiful. The emotions were raw and sad, but in a poetic essence, it was very beautiful. The ending was really good, and it summed up all the emotions felt. I really liked this poem, it was really well written, and I was impressed to read it coming from one of our younger members. Great job on this one my friend.

Thanks Darien :)

Hey,
that ending surprised me, im shocked..but it a good ending dont change it! it was sad but beautiful. good work. 5/5
kisses stephanie

Ohh everybdoy was shock about the ending!!! well guys all of u are right? it seems this poem captivate me and i was so impress to ur work... this was very fabulous and i love the rhyme and im sure u can write it more! and dont worry i believe u have a very excellent talent so dont hesitate to show to people... good luck and keep on writing.. u will be a good writer eventtually. i enjoyed

Wow, what a morbid ending!

Such a beautiful poem, though. The word-choice and imagery created was wonderful.

"Here is a picture of the two of us
We looked so happy in those pictures"

^ Here, I would suggest not using "picture/s" in one line after another; it wrecks the flow a little bit.

Overall though, good job.

Thanks for all the comment guys :)

Wow!! It kept my attention the whole way through..Amazing poem and it was so sad..The ending was very unexpected.. Great poem, keep writting!
~Tyanna~

Thanks for the comment tyanna :)

And i thought the twist was in the fact that she committed a crime! sily me!

Well done, you keep the reader intoxiacted throughout.

x

Simple, heartbreaking, and beautiful.... 5/5
(speachelss babe)

-Liz-
~muahs~

Well it starts of very well... You begin to describe the enviroment soo good and I wish you had described it even more... The enviroment cant be a good amplifier since it is easier to picture the story for the reader..
The flow was good and the poem was overall very well writen...

Take Care =)

Aw I always find it so amazing how a lost love can make people do so many strange things. the only thing I didnt like to much was it was very predictable(sp?) but I really liked it anyway.

This is a very good poem marc, unfolds beautifully, keep up the good work man, i give this poem a 5/5!!!