A Feeling That Was (N)ever There Before

Not so long before the present April dawn
Before my ability of loving was bitterly gone
I encountered a young boy whom I loved so
A soul of a friend I met 2 years ago
A boy by which persistent affection had no end
Over a girl whom he would stop at nothing to fend
Caught in such pain, I was blind to see
The affection he claimed that was only for me
A face of dear beauty, had he
And a sweet heart that burned with love so free
He was but a friend to me as I withdrew for his sake
His vanity left my head tilted but slightly smiling in his wake
His kindness allured me, eyes fixed on a feeling
Alas held back was I, for a memory was killing
The heart that was shattered before that strange little feeling
The chains of past love, which I couldn't escape
Had frustrated his dear heart which terribly ached
Until I met another who has won little of my affection
Came along to me as nothing was mentioned
A foolish brother let word of it free
Jealousy filled him as protest rose from my pleas
My tears seemed to stop him from hurting the other
But his heart grieved knowing I had eyes on another
Alas this relation ended quite fast
For the growing love in me could not help but last
A love for the soul of one that came from before
The one who left me so sullen and sore
After time I realized there was no moving on
And I thought the sweet boy's affection was over and done
But his love still burns up to this day
And he grieves his departure for he is moving away
Before I knew it, my heart slowly ached
Aching since then, from the start of my wake
As my grief feels it night more than day
Wishing so wistfully if he only could stay
From my grief I notice the more
This feeling I have..that was never before.
A feeling of such profound loving care
And a desire that if only he was there
Lying awake I would wonder all the more
What is this feeling...that was not there before?