Christian Sinner

by Broken Inside He only wants to hurt me   Apr 22, 2007


I sit here alone
My heart racing
For i just committed two sins

A Christian girl
15 years old

One sin my greed for gold
Lust I must take hold

A guy of 20
Oh so cute

He is rich
I'm in need of money

Gave him what he asked
He gave me money
Now, I'm afraid
Only one choice left

I must commit
One more sin
To kill someone, Him

I race back to his house
Already dead is he

I fear for my life
And I grab the gun
Pull the trigger, not a sound heard
Out of bullets, my death never occurred

I scream out of despair
Cry out "oh lord Jesus"
"I have sinned"

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow this poem was not quite what I expected I really liked it. The ending took me by suprise. The only thing that I didnt like about it was it kind of went through kind of fast, I think that if you were to slow down a little bit and put more focus on the sins it would be better. I just think that there were to many sins in this one poem but it was still preaty good.

  • 16 years ago

    by Yuna

    This poem had so much in it, so much action that I was kept interested through the whole thing! Great job! I like how you separated the stanza's. It gave it a bit more... Umph! The main character in this poem I can see, and hear, and feel all the emotions. It's tough I can tell. How did the man of 20 die?

  • 16 years ago

    by Painted By Colors llInLovell

    Nicely Done!
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Cha. I like it.
    I don't prefer non-rhyming poetry, but this is exceptionally good.

    Anyways. The ending made the poem...though, I hope this isn't from experience. =./ That'd be bad.
    Otherwise, nicely done.

    xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Very good
    If this is true
    Im sorry
    I really enjoyed this poem
    good job!

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