Oh yeah say it loud and proud love this poem and its message its awsome 5/5 maybe u can read one of mine.

"Are you now man enough for me?"

"I'm finally strong enough to move on. "

i loved these two verses!! very dark, yet well written poem. keep it up!
-xox-

How powerful and strong was that!
Excellent work m'dear, you could feel the emotion bursting from the words..
Take care
5/5
*Gem*

Wow i felt that when i was reading it, i love poems that capitivate me you have a gift

Very moving. I loiked this one best of all. I caould feel the anger leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.Excellent. 5/5

This is a good poem.
I think you could of done more on it though.
Other than that, it was good. It flowed well and the emotion was shown.

Keep it up 5/5

[Sarah]

Wow i really like this poem......great poem..5/5..........check out some of my poems if u would thankz...

Aww I like the ending! I enjoyed this poem! its like watching a movie! well done! keep writing!

Powerful and strong. I could feel the anger in it which makes it even more amazing XD

Hey!!...Beautiful poem...great ending....strong message protrayed through this 1...very powerful write...kp it up!..
xxPoojaxx

Now thats a poem, you can feel the hate illuminating from your words, very nice

Black eye broken arm..

you need to put a , in this poem. black eye, broken arm..

but still well done and very full of hurt and voilence. 5/5 David

Okay, this was by far my favorite of yours.

It was just so powerful, the flow was great and it had me in tears.

I can relate to this poem. I loved this line..

"And the anger and the pain in my eyes?"

So fierce! And I loved the title.. if this happened to you, I'm sorry.

this was excellent..really I enjoyed this one. I've added it to my favorites.
A definite 5/5
~Ally~

I enjoyed the poem, but I think it would be better if you put "you" instead of "u" and "And" instead of "n" I think it would look better, other than that I enjoyed reading it and full of emotion, I'm so sorry if this is about your life... loved the poem...

Great job... the flow again was off in the start... but you picked it up again quickly.. i love the positive ending .. the poem was very vivid and filled with wonderful wording..

Do you enjoy watching me fall?
And the anger and the pain in my eyes?
i loved these lines. you have great talent. you should keep it up nice work 5/5

On the whole this piece is effective, although there are some grammatical errors:

"I raise back up" - change that to 'rise'.
"A hit on face" - change that to 'a hit on the face.
"I collapse and feel the hits through my body"- this does not make much sense. I think you should change it to: "I collapse, feeling the bruises sinking in" or something like that.
"Walk to mirror, the pain i feel," - that should be: "I walk to the mirror in pain".
"hurt no more!" - and finally, that should be: "hurt anymore".

Other than that, it was a well written piece. Well done.

This is very well written very touching, good work. 5/5

That was incrediblely well written, i could feel the rage emanating from the verses.great job!!= ) another 5/5

Cory

Wow, 20 comments, haha. Great piece, I don't know what else I can write that these people already haven't, except that I hope you never have to write something like this again. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, unless we become paralyzed. haha. Keep up the good work. ~Zach