That's beautiful,
things will get better...just be there for her..i'm sure this poem means alot to her!!

Wonderful poem.
It was nice of you to write this for your friend.
The poem flowed well and the emotion was deep.
Keep it up 5/5

[Sarah]

The emotion is expressed brilliantly in this poem. The flow is also smooth and the trasitions between lines enhanced the flow greatly. In the 3rd stanza I have two suggestions. After "Her soul" perhaps remove the comma between soul and cold because it seems to throw off the beat and the second suggestion is that her heart is *bruised* instead of busied? Other than those two minor suggestions, I have little to say. I'm not a huge fan of explicit poems but this was expertly written.

Very good poem. It was sad and full of emothions. I really liked it. It also had a great flow to it. 5/5

Very great piece, im sorry for you friend. It is a very good poem youv written for her. I hope all is well. Keep writing

I loved it, it was sad but so emotionaly deep. i'm sure the friend would keep this poem closely to her heart knowing that you care so much, i gave you a 5 coz it was awesome, maybe if you have some time you can vote and comment on some of mine, well bye and great writing.

Oh wow...this has actually made me cry...
This was so heartbreaking to read, and yet you managed to write about such a horrific subject beautifully.
The flow was flawless throughout, the imagery created very vivid pictures, and the wording was very good.
I liked the repetition, I thought it gave a lot of impact.
The emotion and depth scream through the words in this...
beautiful work...I hope things get better for your friend.

Such a wonderful poem..it is sad that lil children should have to go through tht kinda torchure..i feel for the girl so much.

I hope everything somehow turns out to be okay

Good luck my friend!
love always!
~Shannon~

So powerful. such emotion. so wrong that children should go through this.. i hope your friend is ok.. 5/5

Very well written, full of emotions and had a flawless flow, excellent work, keep it up.

The poem is great. Its nice to console your friend and the poem will help you to do so. Its a great work. Keep up the spirit

No sentence suggestions this time, the rhythm is all over the place. Might want to suggest using 'knife' and 'hell' less often in your poems tho ^_~.

Wow

Wonderful write. I loved the way you used repetition through out the poem, made it stronger to read. The emotion within was outstanding. I liked the way this flowed and the structure was good as well.

Peace, Joe

Here, the repetition works notably well. Really gets the meaning across and gives all readers something to relate to. Definitely well written.

This is really good. I loved the emotion in it and those two repeating lines. Those lines really made the poem strong and the five it deserves. Nicely done. =]

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5