This poem is very different, but beautiful. I particulary like the last stanza

"This tune it went in my heart
It was melodic, lyrical, so strong
Your heart I will capture, one day
On that day, this will be our song"

I really enjoyed reading this, great job 5/5

Excellent read.
I loved it, the flow was a little rocky but it didn't matter, the strength in this poem was amazing.
I absoulutely loved it!

Well done 5/5
Elainex

Beautiful poem.
The emotion was shown and the flow was great.

'Will you kiss me for tonight?
Just a single kiss on the lips?
You are my sun, I am your moon
Are you ready for an eclipse?'

Beautiful 5/5

[Sarah]

I loved this. It was amazing. It was diffrent yes, but refreshing. It kind of made me feel like i was 16 again, and in love.lol I don't know but, I loved the emtion in this. Great job 5/5

Aww this poem was so cute. It is a little different from your other poems, but you did such a great job! 5/5
Well done
Xx Chrissie

Nicely written, and i like the concept behind it.
Easy to read and well constructed.
Well done x

I think it was good but it was a little rocky on some parts it was like you were just stickin parts in there and shouldnt go but over all good job 5/5

I liked the sun, moon, and eclipse part. a good poem, good work, and well done.

your servant:
david

Great read. The word choice was perfect and it flowed nicely! I love how you incorporated all the questions in the poem-it added to the strength of the poem! 5/5 :-D

Great poem! The word choice was pratically perfect, and the emotion was quite amazing. The flow did seem a little iffy in a few spots, but overall it was good.
I loved:

"'Will you kiss me for tonight?
Just a single kiss on the lips?
You are my sun, I am your moon
Are you ready for an eclipse?'"

Amazing job with that stanza, and the entire poem.

Nice one:) 5/5

Wow. Perfection. :]

The was so beautiful to read. The flow was flawless, the emotions were clear & strong, & your descriptions were beautiful.

"This tune it went in my heart
It was melodic, lyrical, so strong
Your heart I will capture, one day
On that day, this will be our song"

^ My favorite stanza. Amazing job! 5.5 :]

Stephanie Lynn .+.

Ohhhh my...I frikken ADORE this!
The first stanza was such a beautiful opener and from thereon it just kept getting better and better.
The flow was flawless throughout, the imagery beautifully used and the whole time I was reading, I had an idiotic grin on my face.

This tune it went in my heart
It was melodic, lyrical, so strong
Your heart I will capture, one day
On that day, this will be our song

i really liked the end , it brought it all together really well. although song and strong are really similar.....(hint) anyhow u should use some of this and turn it into a song ;)

I like this poem. It is great.

O wow, this was relee cute. This line was so different but i liked how it went and it still rhymed [[=
You are my sun, I am your moon
Are you ready for an eclipse?
Such beautiful wording
Carissa E>

I really enjot this poem. I love it. very talented. KUD0S ! Comment mine, please.

I love this poem......great job......keep on writting and you shoudl check out some of my poems.......thankx.....and 5/5.....

I love this poem......great job......keep on writting and you shoudl check out some of my poems.......thankx.....and 5/5.....

I love the strong vocabulary you had in this poem. It flowed very well, and there isn't much critiquing I could do, since this poem was excellent. :)