Ok, I read the first one...Idk which one I like better, though. Lol. Very descriptive & detailed. I like the fact that it was happening in 'her' mind...creative. Keep writing! 5/5

` Liz =]

This is really nice,,great job!!5/5
Janaynay

Hey.. i just read the first one and i prefer the secolnd one... i dunno got a different feeling when read it lol

but wicked writting be inrtesting what wood be going o in her mind lol

5-5

This was hott good work keep it up
robyn xoxo

Wow uhmmm its good =o]
i like it + yur hott soooo makes a great poem
lol
♥

I luv dis poem itsthe bomb