Comments : The Ocean

  • 16 years ago

    by Alvaro

    O crap that was great good job 5/5 ...damn... wish there was a 10 i can feel the words they are strong

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    Beautiful job on this piece. Imagery is really wonderful. The comparrison with the ocean and love is nice.
    Great job!
    Take care Cindy

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Great work!!...Excellently penned......i agree wth cindy...the comparison with ocean and love did magic to this poem...Great!..and perfect choice of words too.
    5/5.
    xxPoojaxx

  • 16 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow this poem was amazing. I loved each and ever single word. Each line was so different and yet it still flowed together. I really loved how you repeated the last word of the first line in each verse it was something I've never seen before and it made the poem 10 times better. The metaphores were amazing. and I have nothing to critique you one. Wonderful work, thank you for sharing it with me.

    "In the calm, tranquil is my heart,
    Drifting in the salty water of which are tears,
    Sweet sun brightens the ocean when you are near,
    Reflecting light onto a loving heart"

    this was my favorite verse so powerful, so amazingly written, and the image that it creates is one of great beauty. Nice job yet again. I loved it.

  • 16 years ago

    by Tracy D Rollings

    Excellent poem, you did a wonderful job on this poem , vocabulary was great, and the flow was excellent as well, this was well written and a joy to read, as always. keep it up, your friend Tracy dean 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr M

    This is quite beautiful; quite exceptional and now a fav of mine

  • 16 years ago

    by Sarah

    WoW .... you know, you managed to give me a free trip that's miles away from where I live to a peaceful beautiful beach ... were you two build a love that will never die.. 5/5 ...

  • 15 years ago

    by Blueleo

    I love the imagery and the comparison to the endless ocean. I always thought of the ocean as a heart. Beating with every waive and showing anger at time and calmness at times. At night, the sound of the waives playfully hitting the sand is hypnotic. The twist of the salty water being tears of the heart really hit home. I never put the two together and made it that much more beautiful for me.

  • 15 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "My heart, the ocean of my love,
    Ivory waves of foam,"

    ^^ Ahhhhhhhhh so pretty! What a beautiful way to start the piece, it makes me feel all sentimental and nostaligc (sp?)

    "Along the shore I do roam,
    Infinite grains of sand, matchless to my love"

    ^^ I like these lines, simply because to me they show hope, and the imagery proceeds to get even better as the piece moves along.

    "Unimaginable strength of the storm,
    Torments in depth of tide,
    Among the crest, my love does ride,
    With the anger, my love rushes into the storm"

    ^^ I love this stanza..I like the way the first stanza seems so calm..tranquil and placid and you moved into this one which shows anger, rage, etc, by moving from serenity to storm, it adds for a powerful transition on the piece.

    "In the calm, tranquil is my heart,
    Drifting in the salty water of which are tears,
    Sweet sun brightens the ocean when you are near,
    Reflecting light onto a loving heart"

    ^^ I like how here you go back to calmness again..I find this staanza to be incredibly bittersweet..moving and hopeful and beautiful all rolled into one.

    "Forever is the ocean,
    For nature can never die,
    Buried in the sand, my love does hide,
    With this, I dive into my endless ocean

    For you, I live to fly. "

    What a beautiful ending!
    You certainly have a way with imagery..it produces so many beautiful stunning pictures in my mind that it's almost like I can -see- everything that you are describing.

    I loved the rhyme scheme you used in this piece, I thought it was perfect, the flow didn't falter once throughout the piece, and again you ended the piece beautifully.