Another really good poem, i loved the way the vocab didnt rhyme but worked well with the next line. Nice peice of writing here hun

xxx alex xxx

Good write..great choice of words..n good stye too...u r sure a talented writer..kp writing hun!
5/5 easy!
xxPoojaxx

This is so heartbreaking to read and yet so beautfully written.
A very moving piece, with a fantastic ending.
The imagery creates vivid pictures and the pain behind the words is easily felt.

It was realy sad work of yours. it made me sad. i will give you 5/5

OMG. that is an intense poem. So the dad beat the mom and son and the mom killed herself by jumping off the roof which is what the son is doing now? Right? I still love it. It is really sad but very well written. 5/5

What a sad poem. You write with so much sad passion. Its poisoning!

This poem is so sad... It is really touching. You described emotions greatly and created powerful atmosphere. I don't like the ending but the rest of this piece is excellent.

I LIKE THE WAY U EXPRESSED UR POEM! THE WHOLE STANZA WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE LOVE IT! THE ENDING REALLY NICE I LIKE IT AND U ENDED VERY WELL.

This one is sweet and sad. Sweet interms of the poetic quality and sad interms of its mournful content. You got it the best way :)

5/5

Tc
Fsams

This is a really good poem.. Its amzing

I love this poem... like allot of yours it flowed so well...

This poem is amazing!
Please keep writing!

Danielle
x

This is beautifully written.

The emotion and depth portrayed in this are beautifully done, overwhelming without being overbearing, while the imagery creates some vivid pictures for the reader.

The flow is good throughout and the ending is wonderfully intense and hard hitting.

Beautiful job on this.

This piece was really deep,
The emotion you portrayed was so strong.

Your imagery was really well, very vivid.

Very descriptive, nice piece.

Very, very good. There were a few words I wouldn't have used in the poem but it shows such good emotion and is easy to understand without being obvious. 5/5

Great poem! Youre really emotional.. Witch is a good thing, I personally couldn't have come up with a better poem.. 5/5

It make me remember the days we've spent together

^ I'm sure you were meant to write 'It makes' not 'make' =]

When you was with your drink

^ When you WERE .. not was.

Good poem. Had a few bits you need to clean up. But you still managed to get the message across. Nicely done.

Soooooo sad, and i can see where youre comming from, but

The ONLY sin you cant be forgiven for is denying Jesus though. but i can see how one would say that out of rage to try and make themself feel better knowing that the almighty God could shove His wrath upon that person.

just a thought :-)

-Syn

Its a really good written poem.emotional poem..and so touching. :(

This is sad, but good.